Tortoise races hare IRL and you won't believe what happens unless you've read an ancient fable

And all this time we thought Aesop was some dumb punk making up BS.

As it turns out, the Ancient Greek storyteller credited with the tale of The Tortoise and The Hare had a pretty decent fan theory about what would happen if a tortoise raced a hare: the tortoise would win, slowly and steadily, while the hare would bounce around like a freaking idiot and get embarrassed.

A video tweeted by @rodriguezdagod shows a seemingly sanctioned, well-attended race between a tortoise and a hare, in which the humble tortoise wins easily.

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The tweet has over 150,000 RTs at the time of this story, which seems fitting because humanity has been waiting for closure on this thing for over a thousand years.

At long last, we know: hares are cocky and pretentious and tortoises are modest and respectful.