Shiny objects foreign leaders are using to distract Trump so he doesn't destroy their world
Is there any greater feeling than when America gets to say goodbye to baby Trump for the weekend and put him in the hands of trusted foreign babysitters?
Of course, it's embarrassing when Trump throws his country all over the floor or has a temper tantrum until he gets to sit in the cart or hits on someone else's wife in front of the cameras. But our fellow soon-to-be-former allies are doing a remarkable job entertaining our president until his parents (Congress) come home, which looks increasingly like ... never.
Oh well. Here's a look at how foreign leaders are doing a remarkable job of distracting Trump from adding more sh*t to the swirling storm of political sewage he's let loose at home and abroad.
1. They gave him a big fancy parade to look at!
Trump initially wasn't going to attend Bastille Day in Paris until he found out there was going to be a big parade. Trump loves a parade! Big sounds!
2. They let him take a cart instead of walking. Toot toot!
Trump was spotted taking a golf cart in lieu of walking with the rest of the foreign leaders at the G-7 summit. Our little guy must have been so tired.
3. And they let him hit on all the pretty ladies at the party.
Trump told Brigitte Macron that she was in "such good physical shape." While Trump's behavior violated nearly universal standards of human decency, people understood -- he's a kid for chrissakes!
4. In the Middle East, they let him play with the biggest shiniest ball they had.
5. And stay up and dance, way past his bedtime!
It's Friday night and he's having fun Trump-G-I-F!
6. Oh the places he went! The strange objects he touched!
7. Including his babysitters' knees!
8. When he wandered off for a nap, they totally understood.
9. Trump can do whatever he wants! Say whatever he wants! Eat whatever he wants!
Anything is possible so long as he doesn't hurt ... them.
Topics Donald Trump
Heather was the Web Trends reporter at Mashable NYC. Prior to joining Mashable, Heather wrote regularly for UPROXX and GOOD Magazine, was published in The Daily Dot and VICE, and had her work featured in Entertainment Weekly, Jezebel, Mic, and Gawker. She loves small terrible dogs and responsible driving. Follow her on Twitter @wear_a_helmet.
