Uber CEO encourages employees to ‘have the D’

Ambitious Uber employees should now aim to get that D -- that is, that decision making power.

In an effort to add clarity to meetings, Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi instituted a new policy, Business Insider reported. To designate someone as the "decision maker" in meetings, people should say that they "have the D."

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Bahahahaha.

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BI learned about the policy from a company memo, reporting that it was confusing (and likely prompting giggles) from younger Uber employees.

Apparently, Khosrowshahi wasn't aware that it sounded like he was instituting dick jokes into company policy. He intended the statement that someone "has the D" to be an easy way to establish chain of command, identifying the ranking person in a meeting who can put issues to rest. According to BI, it's a strategy from a 2006 Harvard Business Review article -- apparently also written by people who weren't aware that our generation likes to refer to genitals by just saying the first letter of the word. The study states that having a shorthand for the ability to decide on issues can make meeting-laden businesses more productive.

Uber provided the following statement to BI, stating that Khosrowshahi is more likely to make dad jokes than, well, you know.

As you may have read, Uber is now run by your dad — so, no, that interpretation was lost on him, but he appreciates Business Insider pointing it out.

The Uber board replaced controversial Uber CEO Travis Kalanick with Khosrowshahi last August. Khosrowshahi's appointment was part of a larger effort to rehabilitate Uber's image, which suffered under Kalanick. Khosrowshahi has already taken steps to make Uber's corporate culture more professional and sensitive. He has also instituted promising new policies, such as more stringent criminal background checks for drivers, and an end of mandatory arbitration clauses for sexual harassment complaints.

So while gettin' that D policy is mostly just a big LOL, facepalm-worthy cluelessness is certainly an improvement over fratty misogyny. At least, this time, an Uber CEO didn't make a dick joke *intentionally*.