People are using voice notes to pre-screen their date's personality

When Amy Sutton first started dating her now-boyfriend, they spent hours on end sending voice notes back and forth. Not texts, voice notes.

Sutton would record these messages while cooking or cleaning, or when she was in the bath. "It was like a whole evening together but without having to put on makeup." Sutton describes these evenings spent voice noting as mini dates.

To her, the exchange felt more intimate than texting, and gave her "a greater sense of who someone is, their sense of humour." It was "less pressure than a phone call," she says.

These hours of endless voice noting were time well spent for Sutton — she and her boyfriend have been together for two years. "We recently looked back at our messages and I was like holy crap, the time on voice notes! I could've saved the world in that time," says Sutton.

To many of us (myself included) the prospect of recording your own voice and sending it to a near-total stranger — or worse someone you really fancy — is basically the stuff nightmares are made of.

But, among the less trepidatious daters, voice notes are all the rage right now. For these people, voice noting affords the chance to pre-screen a match to make sure they're the right fit personality-wise. GQ columnist Sarah Manavis — who wrote an explainer on the new trend — tells me that voice noting has become "a new, logical relationship step" — a stepping stone that exists "somewhere between exchanging numbers and the actual first date."

For some, hearing the sound of a match's voice and the way they talk can help them determine if there's a spark. Louise Kitchingham tells me she uses voice notes as a "pre-date screen" and she doesn't understand why more people don't do this. "You need to know how they speak and sound and it gives you a good indicator as to if they can think on their feet," she says. "If they sounded a bit 'off' then they wouldn't get a date."

"I literally will voice note vet all dates," she says. "If they're slow and not very chatty, or seem uninspiring then I'm much less likely to progress to a date. Need to be able to have some sot of 'zest.'"

Emily Nabnian finds voice noting "a good way to suss out your connection, developing a sort of intimacy without having to be 'too' intimate." She describes it as "a happy medium between texting and having a phone call."

Voice noting is like having a phone call without the nerve-inducing nightmare of coming up with witty banter right on the spot. You can put thought into your replies — much like a text — and keep up the pretence that you're effortlessly witty.

"I find it a more articulate way to communicate, plus more indicative of personality and tone that can be lost in text translation," says Nabnian. "I think some people might see voice noting as too forward or too intimate at an early stage, especially pre-date, but personally I quite like that, because if you’re really freaked out by a voice note then you’re probably not the type of person that I’m looking for.

"I think it gives a better sense of someone’s confidence," she adds. "I and many friends have had great text conversations with someone, only to find out that in person that doesn’t translate accurately."

Moving to voice notes can help some people realise that someone's not such a perfect match after all. Laura Thomas tells me she started messaging a guy on Hinge and had every intention of meeting him in person. "It descended into hours of voice messaging each other every day which was weirdly nice but he kept asking me to send him pics of me," she says. "I ignored him forevermore for not respecting me not wanting to repeatedly send my bare face to a man I’d never met before."

"I wanted to know what I was getting myself into if I was going to invest time into that guy and meet him IRL," adds Thomas. Despite being put off by his incessant requests for photos, she's not been deterred from voice noting. "I’d definitely want to do that with people in the future to get a better sense of the person. It’s how I communicate with my best friends," she says.

Dating apps are aware of this trend too. David Vermeulen, CEO and founder of app The Inner Circle, says voice noting can "help people filter out the bad dates" by moving towards "a more human connection."

"This isn't about judging a book before opening it, but an exciting addition to the pre-date build-up, and a sneak peak of what is to come," he says.

In a world where free time is at a premium, voice noting could well be a way to filter out the duds without having to waste an evening of your life. If it means bringing an end to those interminable, clock-watching, zero-spark dates, I'm on board.