15 things I wish I knew before I got in this UberPOOL

Had I known it wasn't a swimming pool I wouldn't have brought a raft.
 By 
Jessye McGarry
 on 
15 things I wish I knew before I got in this UberPOOL
Manhattan, 5th Avenue Credit: Getty Images/Atlantide phototravel

As Forrest Gump says in the classic film Forrest Gump, "Life is like an UberPOOL; you never know what you're gonna get."

The main benefit of opting for the POOL over an UberX is saving money. But is this benefit worth the risk of dealing with a bunch of strangers at odd hours of the night?

The answer differs from ride to ride. To help make the most informed decision, here are 15 things I wish I knew before I ever pressed order.


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1. You cannot swim in the UberPOOL, so do not bring a large pool raft, or wear a swimsuit, or patiently wait 30 minutes after eating to order the car.

2. You cannot play pool in the UberPOOL.

3. The ride is not the time to begin your training for an eating competition.

4. The man who enters the car named Dwayne is NOT acclaimed actor and former wrestler Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Don't ask for his autograph. It's not going to matter.

5. You once worked with the woman named Vicky, so don't lie and tell her you're the foremost lion tamer in all of eastern Ohio.

6. Nobody wants to read your poetry, even just to check it for typos before you send it out to some journals.

7. No one else came here to make friends.

8. Tyrese is going to put his gum in your business card right as he exits.

9. Nobody is going to laugh when you say, "It's like a clown car in here!"

10. Saying, "You're the best friend I've ever had" to everyone as they exit the car is going to receive a disgusted expression, every time.

11. The driver doesn't want to hang out later.

12. You cannot order a pizza to a moving vehicle.

13. There's no harm in inviting everyone to your birthday party, but don't expect them to come.

14. Uber is not a social media app, so when you tell a fellow passenger that you're going to follow them, they will be alarmed.

15. 4.9 stars is a rating, and asking if the driver of the 2015 Nissan Sentra has a background in astronomy is pretty useless.

Topics Uber

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Jessye McGarry

Jessye McGarry is an acquaintance, middle child and former Humor Intern at Mashable.

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