In the gig economy, I'm a doer. And you can be one too

I know you. You're like me. You're a doer. You don't sit in an office all day, punching the clock. You punch your own clock. You live by your own rules, at your own pace. This is a freelancers world -- you're just crushing in it.

You don't have a career, you have a lifestyle. YOU are the gig economy. You stopped counting coffees after your fourth cup. Sleep? Sleeping is for people who don't do. You do do, because you're a doer.

You eat ambition for lunch, and you wash it down with initiative. It's 11 a.m. and you've been up for 15 hours already. Your availability is ALWAYS. You follow through on your follow through's follow through. You can't remember the last time you laid down. Yes you can. 2014. Yeah, you might be a doer.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

You're a plumber in the morning, carpenter in the afternoon, driver at night. You eat, dream, and breathe caffeine. You shit blood. You don't have time to get it checked. None of your employers offer health insurance. So what -- you'll find an app and start being a doctor. Hell yeah. It's good. You're a doer.

Your grandparents told you about going down to the dock looking for odd jobs before sunrise in the '30s. They worked for 18 hours a day to afford a house with two rooms for six kids. Eked by -- their employers didn't care about them. "Sounds dope," you thought. "Only bad thing is that apps didn't exist." Yup, you're a doer alright.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

You don't envy things like "employer-sponsored coverage" or "vacation time." Your vacation is work, and you're making great memories. Loyalty? More like royal me -- you are your own monarch and your decree is "get grinding." You are King Doer, Lord of Self-Sufficiency.

Your company is replacing you with a robot? Big deal. You do a shot of leaded gasoline for dinner. You don't even wince. Your philosophy is powering through. You bare your teeth and snarl at the idea of steady income. You have 73 jobs and it is freeing as hell, you doer, you.

Your shift ends when your passion does and your passion is endless. Your side gig has a side gig and it's called basic human survival. You are a microtasker and a macro-hustler. Income inequality? Hardly. You just made $50 changing a shower head four states over. You have a degree in chemical engineering. Oh God. No, shut up, stop. Those thoughts are bad. Whenever they pop up, get your side hustle on.

You're a doer: it rules.

You're an addict, and your drug of choice is productivity. Also caffeine and nicotine and some other stuff. But mostly productivity. Second jobs are liberating. Third jobs are true freedom. You have been raptured by part-time labor.

In fact, why are you still reading this? Get out of here. There's doing to be done.