He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. And if you don't start behaving, like, right now, he's going to tell you a long and detailed story about a particularly unpleasant red wedding.
In the Jimmy Kimmel Live clip above, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau stars as a "Lannister on the Bannister" -- a gloriously bloodthirsty parody of Elf on the Shelf. His specialties include scaring children into shape and seducing mothers who remind him of his sister.
We don't know about you, but we'd definitely pay the $19.99 a month.
