Judging by the reviews, Cats sounds absolutely bonkers. All I've been able to glean from the write-ups is that it's a vaguely horny collection of human-shaped cats who writhe around a lot. But, like, what exactly happens?
Here to explain the actual plot is cast-member Jennifer Hudson, who plays Grizabella.
"So basically, you know how cats get a ninth life?" she told Stephen Colbert. "So they have a ball once a year and only one cat gets that ninth life. They get to display their talent or whatever that is and then try to earn the ninth life."
What about the cats who don't succeed in getting the ninth life? Do they... die?
"Well, they just have to wait their turn 'til next year to try to get the 9th life. I guess?"
The one remaining question, of course, is what on earth is a "jellicle cat"? Andrew Lloyd Webber, we're looking at you.
"I can't answer that," Hudson admitted. "Each song that we sing explains all of that, so you get the soundtrack and you get your ticket to the movie, and you go see the movie and it's gonna tell you everything all y'all need to know."
Good point.
