John Oliver is doing his best to talk some sense into the world.
Last Week Tonight is currently on hiatus, but Oliver took some time during the break to warn us all about an ungodly event called SantaCon. The event is "...essentially a day-long pub crawl, organized in various cities where thousands of people can dress up as Santa and get hammered," in Oliver's words.
Hmm, thousands of people dressed as Santa Claus whilst heavily drinking. We think we see where this is leading.
The segment included news clips about the event, which noted "fights and a lot of complaints about crude and lewd behavior" while visuals revealed a chaotic scene of Santas fighting in the streets. Not very "cheerful" of you, Santas.
"It's a terrifying combination of binge drinking, public urination, and trauma to small children that decades of therapy will never manage to reverse," Oliver said.
One particularly noteworthy clip from CBS News showed a man recounting a rather unwholesome SantaCon memory, where he witnessed "an explicit sex act ... two Santas going at it" in aisle 4 of a Duane Reade.
Oliver made it very clear he thinks SantaCon should come to an end, and after hearing that traumatizing Christmas tale of woe, we can't help but agree with him. We'll also be cautiously avoiding aisle 4 of every Duane Reade we set foot in from now on until the end of time.
