The first presidential debate between President Donald Trump and Democratic nominee Joe Biden took place on Tuesday. It was, by common consensus, "a shitshow."
"Watching that debate was like hotboxing a Porta Potti with crystal meth in Phoenix in July," said Late Night host Seth Meyers on Wednesday. "It was like being hit on the head with a lead pipe in a room filled with nitrous oxide. It was like watching a two-person performance of 12 Angry Men where one actor played one part, and one was mad enough for the other 11."
The entire spectacle was 90 minutes of barely intelligible, unadulterated chaos, lowlights of which included Trump stumbling when asked to unequivocally denounce white supremacists.
"They literally told him, 'do it, condemn them,' and he still wouldn't," said Meyers. "The best he could muster was 'sure, I'll condemn them,' before refusing to condemn them. That's the way you respond when you are offered a hors d'oeuvre at a party. 'Sure, I'll take a crab puff.' Then you spit it in a napkin and throw it away."
Trump allies quickly jumped to the president's defence, Rick Santorum stating on CNN that the debate moderator "was asking the president to do something that he knows the president doesn't like to do... which is say something bad about people who support him... the white supremacists."
"That's your defence?" asked Meyers. "So I guess by that same token Trump would accept an endorsement from ISIS if they praised him. If they were smart they'd start waving Trump flags from the back of their trucks."
