Stephen Colbert's post-Biden-Trump-debate monologue started, somewhat fittingly, on an apocalyptic note.
"I come to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, an empty vessel," says the Late Show host in the clip above. "A man with a mind wiped clean, I have stood in the swirling chaos of creation, I have seen Shiva dancing the destruction, wielding his trident, carving great gouts out of the universe, the sky at once both red and blue and black, until all that remained was a starless void and the hollow husk once known as Chris Wallace."
A terrifying image, indeed, but one that was barely any scarier than the reality of Joe Biden's first (and very chaotic) presidential campaign debate with Donald Trump.
Following his opening, Colbert went on to break down the most memorable moments from Tuesday night's 90-minute debate, adding his own little asides after each. There was Biden calling Trump the "worst president America's ever had" ("Come on, Mr Vice President, that's not fair — he's also the worst president America will ever have"); Biden calling Trump a "clown" ("If Trump was a clown, he'd have a much more professional face paint"); and Chris Wallace and Biden laughing about Trump's rambling questions ("It's funny because we're facing the most important election of our lifetimes, and we're letting the idiot who shouts loudest decide what we talk about.")
Finally, just like Mark Hamill, Colbert used a Star Wars reference to sum up his feelings.
"I feel like I did coming out of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace," says the host. "How can we possibly do this two more times?"
