It's damn cold in Chicago, as the Midwest sits in the midst of a polar vortex.
In fact, with temperatures hitting -22 degrees Fahrenheit (-30 degrees Celsius) on Wednesday, with a wind chill of -49 degrees Fahrenheit (-45 degrees Celsius), it's so cold in the city that in order to keep the tracks running, crews set fire to the tracks.
So, The Late Show host Stephen Colbert donned a Chicago-style moustache to offer up a few cold weather tips for the good people of the Windy City.
"Here's how you keep your Polish sausage from snappin' off," he began. "First. take all your old mustaches, sew 'em into a scarf, OK. In Chicago, you shed one mustache a year, it's like antlers with deer.
"Second, if you're really cold, slice open and crawl inside a visiting Packers fan," a Green Bay tinged nod to Han Solo's survival skills in The Empire Strikes Back. "It's legal there, they got that insulating layer of cheese."
You'll also need a portable source of heat, and Colbert's got just the thing: Italian beef sandwiches from Portillo's. Put 'em on your cheeks.
Topics Stephen Colbert
