Haven't you heard? It's not just a phone, it's a war.
So pick a side and choose wisely. You're making a lifetime commitment; is it Apple or Android? And there's no going back for fear of being called a traitor, a war criminal even a flip-flopper.
SEE ALSO:
How to End the iPhone vs. Android Debate
And if you're spending any time liaising with the other side, prepare to sever ties. There's no sleeping with the enemy when it comes to this conflict.
This song is your official war cry, begin preparing for battle.