Forget hosting The Late Show, Stephen Colbert just lined up the gig of a lifetime: Intergalactic Chancellor of Apple.
Well, his exact title is still a work in progress, if Thursday's iPad event is any evidence. In a very dad-like phone call, Apple's senior VP of software design Craig Federighi explained to Colbert how the comedian would help the tech company "triple-down" on secrecy -- something much needed after Wednesday's iPad leak.
After the approximately three-minute phone call, viewers still had no idea how Colbert landed this job (read: lots of money).
Stephen Colbert on the phone with Craig Federighi right now, which is like a hairsplosion of forced humor that threatens to consume us all.— Molly Wood (@mollywood) October 16, 2014
So far this fall, Apple has attempted to purchase cool from U2 and from Stephen Colbert. Getting warmer!— Joshua Benton (@jbenton) October 16, 2014
Give Colbert and Craig a buddy romcom— leslie (@LesHorn) October 16, 2014
Despite the awkward call, Colbert had several fantastic ideas for his title, including Intergalatic Chancellor, Chief of Secrecy, and Supreme Ally Commander of Super Secrecy. Tim Cook even got a new name: Chairman Honeycrisp.
Colbert also took a moment to pressure Federighi about finishing up the Apple Watch. "You know what I see when I look at my wrist, my wrist. Chop, Chop! I'm jonesing for some jewelry," he urged.
Curious, considering just last month Colbert had fashioned himself his own iWatch.
Apple sure can take a joke.