Surprise, no one wants to be Ted Cruz's Secret Santa

I mean, would you?
 By 
Tyler Schmall
 on 
Surprise, no one wants to be Ted Cruz's Secret Santa
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 31: Senator Al Franken discusses politics at a SiriusXM Town Hall with host Julie Mason and The Hill's Bob Cusack on May 31, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for SiriusXM) Credit: cindy ord/Getty Images for SiriusXM

Here's something that will probably not surprise you: nobody likes Ted Cruz.

Al Franken's new book Giant of the Senate contains some great stories about the Texas senator who is like if Grandpa Munster started reading Ayn Rand. Turns out he's even despised by his fellow senators.

A week or so ago, Franken revealed a particularly biting joke that actually managed to silence Ted, who he says has had it coming due to his insufferable and smarmy nature.

A mammoth burn. Dear God, Al.

Ted Cruz, who looks like if a hastily made ventriloquist dummy came to life while watching The 700 Club, offered a rebuttal in the form of an insanely good "covfefe" tweet.

Franken did a town hall conversation on Wednesday with The Hill Editor-in-Chief Bob Cusack and revealed something even funnier in regards to the senate's annual Secret Santa ritual: people apparently physically recoil when they pick out his name from the hat.

“I’ve had people pick out Cruz’s name and then drop it on the floor. I’ve actually had that happen,” he explains. Which is an understandable response.

Ted Cruz, who looks like the halfway point of Ronald Reagan animorphing into a blob fish, has yet to reply to this anecdote. But the Franken/Cruz rivalry is definitely one to watch if this is the quality of content we're in for.

Topics Politics Senate

Mashable Image
Tyler Schmall

Tyler Schmall is a humor writer based in NYC and a friend of yours. You can follow him on Twitter @tylerschmall where he has been known to post "tweets."

Mashable Potato

Recommended For You
How to watch Monterrey vs. Cruz Azul online for free
Sergio Canales reacts

Everything we know about 'Ted Lasso' Season 4
Jason Sudeikis and Hannah Waddingham in "Ted Lasso."

Former Xbox President Sarah Bond breaks silence after surprise exit
Sarah Bond, president of Xbox at Microsoft Corp., during the Bloomberg Technology Summit in San Francisco, California, US, on Thursday, May 9, 2024

'The Daily Show' responds to Trump waffling about a secret U.S. weapon
A man in a suit sits behind a talk show desk, with an image of the president in the top-left. The caption at the bottom reads, "The discombobulator?"

'The AI Doc' producer Daniel Kwan on the future and threat of artificial intelligence
Daniel Kwan, Charlie Tyrell, and Ted Tremper talking to Mashable about 'The AI Doc: Or How I Became an Apocaloptimist'

Trending on Mashable
NYT Connections hints today: Clues, answers for April 4, 2026
Connections game on a smartphone

Wordle today: Answer, hints for April 4, 2026
Wordle game on a smartphone

NYT Connections hints today: Clues, answers for April 3, 2026
Connections game on a smartphone

NYT Strands hints, answers for April 4, 2026
A game being played on a smartphone.

Wordle today: Answer, hints for April 3, 2026
Wordle game on a smartphone
The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox.
These newsletters may contain advertising, deals, or affiliate links. By clicking Subscribe, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Thanks for signing up. See you at your inbox!