How to talk to your babysitter about online privacy
My first date night out with my husband after our daughter was born was nerve wracking. Would she be fed? Would she sleep? I constantly checked my phone for updates from the sitter. Nothing.
Then, I logged into Facebook. In my feed I saw three pictures of my adorable baby being snuggled by the sitter. It was reassuring but also worrying. Up until that point all of our baby pictures on social media were accessible only to family and friends.
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As a writer who makes her living online I was worried strangers would take photos of my daughter and use them without my consent. It's a safety concern if people in the area know my children are home without an adult present. For some parents, keeping their children off social media is about protecting them from privacy concerns of facial imaging software and data mining. Other parents worry about future backlash, like bullying in school or losing out on future job and college prospects.
As children get older even they are pushing back for more privacy, requesting that their parents not post about them online.
In a recent blog post for Mom.me, Meredith Gordon noted that she doesn’t want her sitters taking pictures of her kids at all, because her children are not someone else’s content.
Our rules are slightly more flexible. I don’t mind a picture here or there but we prefer that names aren’t used.
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Discussing these rules with a sitter can be awkward. Caregivers who are Generation Alpha might not have the same concerns about privacy as parents. Laurie Gray, a trial attorney, child advocate and founder of SocraticParenting.com, encourages parents to be up front about their rules and expectations. “The key is to suggest some simple, clear rules, discuss them with your children and babysitter to make sure everyone has input, understands and is on board.” She suggests typing guidelines and posting them on the bulletin board or refrigerator for easy reference by the sitter and children.
Lynn Perkins, CEO and founder of UrbanSitter, suggests firm rules in place before you talk to your sitter. She suggests a range of social sharing options:
Never take photos or videos of my kids.
It’s okay to take photos or videos of my kids, but for these purposes only:
To send me as an update, but photos or videos should be deleted immediately afterward.
To capture a memory, which you can keep, but photos or videos should never be shared on social media.
It’s okay to take photos or videos of my kids and share them on social media with these exceptions:
Do not use my kids’ names or our last name.
Do not tag people or locations.
It’s okay to take photos or videos of my kids and share them on social media. Be sure to tag me, so I can see the posts.
A good sitter will respect your wishes, Perkins notes.
Gray adds, “Most parents do want their sitter and children to be able to communicate with them, so they don’t want completely cut off access to the electronic devices. What seems to work best for most parents is: 1) Agree; 2) Trust; 3) Verify; 4) Revise the Agreement as needed; and repeat. If trust becomes a significant issue, you may need to look for a new babysitter.”
As for us, I was able to talk to my sitter about our social media rules for our kids and she handled it well. Not only is it a privacy issue, but it’s a safety one that modern parents need to be aware of.
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Stephanie Buck was the lifestyle editor at Mashable. During her career in media, she has contributed to publications both national and local. A California transplant, she now lives in New York City in a tiny apartment overflowing with yoga mats, knitting needles and craft beer. Follow her antics @StephMBuck.
