Rage-fueled beaver declares war on artificial Christmas trees
Beavers have officially joined the war on Christmas.
In Charlotte Hall, Maryland, yesterday, witnesses spotted a lone beaver wandering through the artificial Christmas tree aisle. Perhaps fueled by residual Black Friday rage, the beaver soon began to tear through the Christmas trees and the store, leaving a path of unparalleled destruction in its adorable little wake.
"The suspect attempted to flee the area," the St. Mary County Sheriff's Office explained in a statement. The beaver, however, was apprehended by animal control before it could leave the store and chaos even more chaos and pain.
"Cpl. Yingling had a unique call for service when the suspect, pictured, was witnessed causing property destruction at a store in Char. Hall," the sheriff's office said in a tweet.
It is unclear what, exactly, the beaver's motives were, or why he has such a thing against artificial Christmas trees (they're way cheaper and some are really cute, OK?).
"All joking aside, the beaver was safely rescued by animal control and released to wildlife rehabilitation," the sheriff's office later explained.
Can beaver rehab save this hairy, merciless rogue? Only time will tell.
Heather was the Web Trends reporter at Mashable NYC. Prior to joining Mashable, Heather wrote regularly for UPROXX and GOOD Magazine, was published in The Daily Dot and VICE, and had her work featured in Entertainment Weekly, Jezebel, Mic, and Gawker. She loves small terrible dogs and responsible driving. Follow her on Twitter @wear_a_helmet.
