An insanely venomous snake is currently on the loose in Florida, so that's great

Just another typical day in Florida.
 By 
Tyler Schmall
 on 
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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Try to act surprised when we say this, but something has gone terribly wrong in the state of Florida.

The Ocala Star Banner has reported that a very venomous tan and yellow monocled cobra has escaped from a Florida home. To make things even weirder, the snake was apparently being watched by the snake owner's apprentice at the time it freed itself.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission was alerted to the deadly snake getaway after the owner and his apprentice could not find it in the sealed room.

Monocled cobras are native to southeast Asia and are apparently so incredibly venomous that you need to have a freaking permit to own one.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation issued a statement saying search efforts are underway for the missing suphan cobra in the vicinity of the 900 block of NE Ninth Street in Ocala and residents in the area are urged to use caution until this snake has been captured.

The blunder is such an exemplary act of vaudevillian slapstick that it has spurned its own semi-amusing parody Twitter account.

It really seems like these kind of things are only capable of happening in Florida. So if happen to live there and come across a cobra, stay extremely far away. Or move!

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Tyler Schmall

Tyler Schmall is a humor writer based in NYC and a friend of yours. You can follow him on Twitter @tylerschmall where he has been known to post "tweets."

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