CockBlockchain wants you to use blockchain to secure your dick pics

It's a brave new world.
 By 
Marcus Gilmer
 on 
Original image replaced with Mashable logo
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

In the era of hacks and security flaws, many interwebs users share the same lament: "Can't we just have a secure way to share our dick pics and make some Bitcoin off of them?"

Lucky for you, live cam platform CamSoda is here to combine an age-old sex game with the blockchain craze to create a new tool called CockBlockchain.

The company hails it as a way to safely and anonymously share your private stash of intimate selfies, avoiding underage users, getting catfished, and maybe, just maybe, make a little coin off of your bits.


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Get it?

Coin off of your bits?

Bitcoin?

Fine.

Here's how it apparently works, according to their press release. Once users sign up for an account, they can take photos of their private parts, which are then verified by CamSoda's "penis- and vagina-recognition technology (PVRT)." The user adds a 20-characters-or-less description to their anonymous profile to entice others to interact.

You can request to see other people's photos, and there's also a list of who's requested to see your naughty bits -- and it allows you to choose who gets to see your stuff. Then you can exchange more photos or even exchange Bitcoin.

The use of blockchain means better security for the exchange of your photos (besides the ability to rack of cryptocurrency for more views of your junk).

Now, it's heartening to see that both parties have to agree for the sharing of photos to happen because, well, consent! But there are still some questions as to how, exactly, will this work?

Some are logistical. For example:

  • How long did it take to perfect this genitalia recognition technology in a time where facial recognition is still developing?

  • Does it recognize breasts, too?

  • How can you entice someone to look at a photo of your junk in 20 characters or less?

  • How does this prevent getting catfished?

But, also, how can you entice someone to look at a photo of your junk in 20 characters or less?

For now, the questions will have to remain unanswered as CockBlockchain isn't here, yet but it will be soon and then I'll wait for someone else to use it and let me know how it goes.

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Marcus Gilmer

Marcus Gilmer is Mashable's Assistant Real-Times News Editor on the West Coast, reporting on breaking news from his location in San Francisco. An Alabama native, Marcus earned his BA from Birmingham-Southern College and his MFA in Communications from the University of New Orleans. Marcus has previously worked for Chicagoist, The A.V. Club, the Chicago Sun-Times and the San Francisco Chronicle.

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