How many Plumlees are there? Is Grayson Allen Ted Cruz? The Internet interrogates Duke

The holiest rite of March Madness every spring is tracking whether Duke can dodge a humiliating first round upset loss. This year, the team everyone loves to hate survived a 93-85 win over UNC-Wilmington to advance. Bummer.

But there are games beyond the game. Bigger questions. Deeper queries, which the Internet collectively voiced during the Blue Devils' first-round win. 

Let's dive into what's really real. 

Senior center Marshall Plumlee had 23 points and eight rebounds for the Blue Devils. That name sounds familiar because both of his older brothers, Miles and Mason, played at Duke before him. For the past eight years, at least one Plumlee has suited up for Duke. It's like they grow these things in a lab somewhere. 

As young Marshall powered Duke to a second half surge Thursday, everyone on Twitter had the same question: HOW MANY PLUMLEES ARE THERE? 

No, seriously -- everyone was asking. 

There's more along those lines, lots more -- but you get the idea. And just to answer everyone's question: There are no more Duke-bound, basketball-playing Plumlees on the horizon. 

Phew. Now on to even more important matters. 

Grayson Allen and Ted Cruz

Allen is another Duke star. You won't believe this coming from Duke, but he's a scrappy guard who sometimes acts like a real dick on the court and rubs a lot of people the wrong way. He scored 23 points Thursday, but that's irrelevant. 

WHAT'S RELEVANT IS HE LOOKS A LOT LIKE TED CRUZ. Here's a look, courtesy of SBNation's Michael Katz. 

That's pretty weird! But it gets even weirder. Let's go down the faceswap rabbit hole. 

Damn. Damn. DAMN. 

Oh, and one more thing

Twice this year, Allen drew heat for appearing to intentionally trip opponents during games.

This did not earn him many fans beyond the Duke campus. 

Now fast forward to Thursday. Attempting to run some time off the clock near the end of the Wilmington win, Allen slipped on the floor. Then he slipped again. 

Allen slipped (twice!) after tripping Duke opponents (twice!) during the regular season.    

He also looks frighteningly like Ted Cruz. 

And Marshall Plumlee has the Internet collectively freaking out over the sheer amount of Plumlee-ness we've been subjected to over the past decade. 

Duke basketball in March: a tradition unlike any other.