GOP senator compares health care to porcupine sex because nothing matters anymore

When it comes to the intricacies of healthcare policy in the United States of America in the year 2017, there feels no better or accurate way that sums it up than the following real quote from GOP Kansas Senator Pat Roberts:

"Once in Glacier National Park I saw two porcupines making love," Roberts told reporters.

Uh, Senator Roberts, the question was about health care?

"I’m assuming they produced smaller porcupines. They produced something," he continued. "It has to be done carefully. That's what we're doing. "

I would imagine there is only a handful of people in the entire world that, when asked about health care, would immediately think of porcupine sex, and then say, "these two things are the same." Yet here we stand.

His argument is that two divergent sides are trying to agree on something. Which is definitely a weird way to look at sex. But it turns out the senator's knowledgable comments about porcupine sex aren't even entirely true, because the Associated Press actually fact checked it:

THE FACTS: He is correct, it’s tricky, but unlike lawmakers, porcupines have their mission figured out.

Porcupine spines are an intimidating mechanism to protect the animals from predators. But when it comes time to mate, they have the ability to let down their defenses, said Duke University biologist Stuart Pimm. Courtship rituals can be aggressive but when the animals have negotiated the art of the deal, the females relax and reposition their quills.

It’s not entirely different from people, Pimm said. “We humans are quite capable of arming ourselves with the most ferocious weaponry but I don’t take my broadaxe to bed with me.”

Thank you for clearing that up, AP! We're so very sorry you even had to.

How many more times will the GOP compare lawmaking to animal sex before Trump finally leaves office? I'm assuming we're just getting started here.