J.K. Rowling shouldn't apologize for killing garbage human Severus Snape

To quote a friend of mine, "I can't believe that it's the Year of our Lord 2017 and there are still people who defend Severus Snape."

The greatest culprit is Queen Jo herself, J.K. Rowling, who on Tuesday apologized for killing the tortured and tragic Snape during the battle of Hogwarts in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. (Rowling tweets an apology for killing one character each year on May 2, the day of the battle of Hogwarts; yes, we're aware this is all fictional...just go with it.)

Snape, if you need a refresher, was the wizard equivalent of a Neo-Nazi while never letting up on a childhood crush instead of letting her be happy and live her life.

Snape died at the battle of Hogwarts, and despite occasionally bravery was, again, the worst. Rowling should not be apologizing for killing him. (Tonks? Yes, we'll take that apology.)

How was Snape the worst? Let me count the ways...

That time he called Lily "mudblood"

Unrequited love does a lot of crazy things to people, but there's something else going on if you let a racial slur slip on the schoolgrounds. Snape grew up near Lily and told her that being Muggle-born didn't make a difference in the Wizarding World, so what changed?

Oh yeah...

He had no respect for her relationship with James

James Potter may have been a textbook douchebag in his Hogwarts prime, but we know that he "deflated his head a bit" towards the end of his life, and, most importantly, Lily chose to be with him. For the last few years of their lives, James was a loving, caring boyfriend and husband, and as someone who loved Lily, Snape should have valued her happiness.

He was "up to his eyes in the Dark Arts"

You don't join the Death Eaters because you're bored and want a resume filler -- you join because you genuinely believe in the superiority of magical people to Muggles and because you suck.

He abused Harry

Detention during Quidditch! Disproportionate punishments! Condescending teaching! How's an 11-year-old raised by Muggles going to know what a bezoar is?

...and Hermione

Please refer to this passage from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, after Malfoy shoots a curse at Hermione that enlarges her front teeth:

"Malfoy got Hermione!" Ron said. "Look!" He forced Hermione to show Snape her teeth -- she was doing her best to hide them with her hands, though this was difficult as they had now grown down past her collar. Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls were doubled up with silent giggles, pointing at Hermione from behind Snape's back. Snape looked coldly at Hermione, then said, "I see no difference."

WHAT. A. DICK.

...and Neville

Every 13-year-old has the right to be more afraid of spiders or mummies than of their freaking science teacher.

...and everyone else

TL;DR SNAPE IS A RLY MEAN GUY OK.

He never gave up the Dark Arts

I'm not saying he was practicing, but if his duty as double agent necessitated Snape killing or torturing innocent people, he did it. All he cared about was protecting Lily, and then protecting Harry when that failed (and as we have seen, protecting did not mean nurturing in any way), all so he could look into her eyes from time to time (super normal!).

Sorry Snape. You did one good thing, and you are certainly a rich and complex character whose arc I will study and debate til I grow old, but at the end of the day, you are garbage.

Keep your apology, Jo.