9 lame Pokémon you will never want to catch on 'Pokémon Go'
Would it be so bad if these Pokémon got away?
Now that Pokémon Go is out for both Android and iOS, fans of the long-running franchise have been very excited to take their phones out to the geographical battlegrounds. While everyone is running around, tossing out Poké Balls and feeling ecstatic about finding their favorite characters, just take a moment to remember the poor Pokémon who no one ever wants to take home — and rightfully so.
While Ash Ketchum famously said "gotta catch 'em all," maybe you should let these guys go free.
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And no, we don't just mean Pidgey.
1. Chlamydion
Trust us, you don't want to open this in your Pokédex.
2. Biclops
A cyclops, but with two eyes. Depth perception could be handy in a Pokébattle. They'll always know how much time they have before the other Pokémon's attack hits them.
3. Tireon
An old, abandoned tire. It uses the roll attack. It's weirdly effective.
4. Dustopan
A dustpan and brush. You won't win and battles, but your place will be sparkling.
5. Twiggy, Stiggy and Branchy
Three, differently sized sticks with eyes. 'Nuff said.
6. Trumposaur
It uses xenophobic scare tactics and bad tweeting. It's disturbingly effective.
7. Trukstopsooshi
That truck stop sushi that no one wants. Give your opponent food poisoning and you instantly win.
8. Tunazam
A tuna fish sandwich. It doesn't do anything. It just sits there looking disappointing.
9. Chardmander
A bunch of Swiss chard. To make Pokébattles exceedingly bitter and fiber-rich.
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Andrea Romano -- comedy writer, craft enthusiast, lady -- was a Watercooler Reporter. She worked as an intern at Mashable beginning in January 2014. Andrea recently completed her Masters degree in Media Studies and Film from The New School and writes sketch comedy at Upright Citizens Brigade and The People's Improv Theatre. She once watched three Paul Rudd movies in a row on a bicoastal flight and didn't realize it until she landed. She does things like that a lot. Twitter: @theandrearomano
