Seduce people using this ‘slow’ dating app — if you have time
Speed is of the essence in our modern age of fast-swipe online dating. So much so that the process of swiping, matching, and chatting can feel like a race to to that great (or not so great, depending) finish line we call a date. But a brand new dating app wants people to take things slow — real slow, in fact — using the ancient art of conversation to seduce matches. It's pretty groundbreaking stuff for those getting by with the odd "DTF?" message on Tinder.
Appetence, which is free to download on iOS from the iTunes store and claims to be the world's first "slow dating" app, forces users to talk to each other before they can see each other's profile pictures. How so? Upon downloading the app, users are asked to select a bunch of their interests and tastes relating to music, gastronomy, movies, TV, books, and even pets. The app's "slow matchmaking" algorithm then shows you compatible profiles based on your interests and search settings. Unlike Tinder, Bumble, and basically every other dating app out there, the app won't just show you photos of your match. You have to earn that privilege by talking to them. When you first start conversing with your match, your profile photo appears entirely covered by a pattern.
As you chat with your match you have the opportunity to like the messages — or "encounters" — they send you. The more you like, the more pieces of your profile photo are revealed. But it's not easy. Your match needs 50 likes in order to see your full profile photo. And you, in return, need 50 likes to see theirs. Which means you'll both need to have some serious banter. This slow approach to dating is certainly novel in a world where speedy swipes are based largely on profile photos, and you can kind of see the point: "Unfortunately, our society today promotes relationships with increasingly fragile ties. 'Fast Dating' has made many women and men tired of not feeling special," says Appetence founder Camilla Forsell. "The conversations have become monotonous and similar, and having a 'Match' is no longer as exciting as the first few times," Forsell continues, adding that she wants people to "seduce" one another using just "their way with words." Hmmm. But, the real question is: Do people really have the time and patience to invest in a protracted conversation with someone you might not actually fancy? In the age of fast swiping, most of us just want to get in and get out of dating apps as soon as possible. And for most of us, actually seeing someone is part of that equation.
AdultFriendFinder — readers’ pick for casual connections
Hinge — popular choice for regular meetups
Rachel Thompson is the Features Editor at Mashable. Rachel's second non-fiction book The Love Fix: Reclaiming Intimacy in a Disconnected World is out now, published by Penguin Random House in Jan. 2025. The Love Fix explores why dating feels so hard right now, why we experience difficult emotions in the realm of love, and how we can change our dating culture for the better.
A leading sex and dating writer in the UK, Rachel has written for GQ, The Guardian, The Sunday Times Style, The Telegraph, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Stylist, ELLE, The i Paper, Refinery29, and many more.
Rachel's first book Rough: How Violence Has Found Its Way Into the Bedroom And What We Can Do About It, a non-fiction investigation into sexual violence was published by Penguin Random House in 2021.
