How it's made: the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino
Your $5 cup of colorful sugar represents a pretty impressive journey.
By
Max Knoblauch
on
Max Knoblauch
Max Knoblauch is the Assistant Humor Editor in the NYC office. He is a journalist, comedian and illustrator. More humor and art by Max can be found on his website.Follow him @MaxKnoblauch
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Original image has been replaced.
Credit: Mashable
Starbucks' Unicorn Frappuccino is the season's must-try beverage, like it or not.
With a whopping 59 grams of sugar per 16 ounce serving, the Unicorn Frap is an anomaly of a beverage. That being said, it's undeniably pretty to look at.
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So, how exactly is the Unicorn Frappuccino made? The process isn't so simple. In fact, your $5 cup of colorful sugar represents a pretty impressive journey.
Take a look inside the step-by-step process below.
Step 1: Baristas track the last remaining unicorns to their beautiful cave in the Pacific Northwest
Credit: Mashable composite. max knoblauch; shutterstock
Step 2: The unicorns are sedated and driven to the original Starbucks location in Seattle, Washington. They will wake in 24 hours, at which point "re-education" will begin.
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE. MAX KNOBLAUCH; SHUTTERSTOCK, getty images
Step 3: A barista explains that a handful of unicorns must be harvested for the greater good. The process is described as noble and "the right thing to do." The room is silent until enough unicorns volunteer.
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE. MAX KNOBLAUCH; SHUTTERSTOCK
Step 4: A small faction of unicorns, referring to themselves as "Révolte" rises in opposition to the harvest. Their cause is honorable but quickly squashed by the Starbucks paramilitary forces.
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE. MAX KNOBLAUCH; SHUTTERSTOCK
Step 5: The harvest has begun. Unicorns are placed in a big blender with ice and mushed up. It's gross. In 6-10 months, their kin will receive Starbucks store credit as retribution.
Man holding splashing blender; Shutterstock ID 382280089
Credit: Shutterstock / Henny van Roomen
Step 6: The harvested unicorns are placed in Grande cups and topped with whipped cream. The colorful powder on the whipped cream is just Splenda.
Original image has been replaced.
Credit: Mashable
Step 7: A peace agreement is reached between Starbucks and the unicorns, as the baristas redirect their focus on the Pumpkin Spice nymphs of the North East.
Original image has been replaced.
Credit: Mashable
Max Knoblauch is the Assistant Humor Editor in the NYC office. He is a journalist, comedian and illustrator. More humor and art by Max can be found on his website.Follow him @MaxKnoblauch
