Women have resorted to farting to deflect sexual harassment

And now, a dispatch from our sad reality: women are farting -- or pretending to fart -- in order to stave off sexual harassers.

A particularly salient example comes from the r/TwoXChromosomes subreddit. In a post called "I got my sexual aggressor fired from work today. I'm quite satisfied," user ThankCod details her use of the fart to repel a co-worker who'd been "accidentally" touching her at the office.

"I walked by him and turned my butt right next to his hand and just full on farted," she wrote. "Loud and angry. It's gross, I know. But if he's going to make me feel gross and 'claim my ass' I'm going to make him feel gross and 'claim his hand.'"

The dude, of course, "freaked out." But when the office began to gossip about the fart incident, ThankCod's boss called her and her aggressor into the office. And when ThankCod explained what had been happening, the aggressor was fired.

Yes, that's right: the straw that broke the harasser's career was the same bodily function that 12-year-old boys across the nation are giggling about as we speak.

And this Reddit saga isn't the only recent case of farts as Bad Man Repellent. In a viral tweet several weeks ago, author Olivia A. Cole relayed the tale of a woman faking a fart when she noticed a creepy dude approaching her and her friend at the gym.

It worked.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Obviously, none of the events in these anecdotes should ever have to happen. Women should not feel so unsafe that we have to flatulate in order to sufficiently gross out predators.

But if you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation at the workplace or the gym or anywhere else you are simply trying to live your life, know that... farting is an option.

We truly reside in hell!