April Fools' Day is looming, but nobody is in the mood for jokes. Tolerance for tomfoolery is at an all-time low, as the coronavirus pandemic has people hoarding toilet paper and staying confined to their homes.
"At this point the only April Fools' joke I want is someone TP-ing my house, preferably in two-ply, quilted," quipped Late Show host Stephen Colbert, recording the show from his home. "I have a very sensitive backdoor."
Fortunately Americans' efforts at social distancing seem to be paying off, as early real-time data suggests coronavirus infection rates appear to be slowing.
"It's working!" said Colbert. "Just keep doing it America! And by 'it,' of course, I mean nothing."
Topics Health Stephen Colbert COVID-19
