President Donald Trump is trailing Joe Biden by double digits in polls by CNN, CNBC, and even Fox News. So, of course, Trump has taken to Twitter to shout about how popular and beloved he definitely is, complaining that mainstream media isn't reporting his (incredibly poorly attended) rally in Tulsa was a ratings hit for Fox News.
"Great point," said Late Night host Stephen Colbert. "In the midst of a global pandemic and massive civil unrest, reporters are totally burying the story of how many people were watching TV. It reminds me of that headline after Pearl Harbor: 'FDR speech gets incredible ratings! Also, war.'
"To be fair, Trump is right," Colbert continued with an incredibly rare, incredibly cursed phrase. "A record number of people did tune in to watch him be humiliated in Tulsa. It's the feel-good hit of the summer!"
Trump has also been dealing with the fallout of his speech at the Tulsa rally, during which he said he instructed health officials to slow down coronavirus testing so the U.S. would have fewer confirmed cases. As Colbert notes, the White House has since claimed Trump's apparent "if I can't see it it isn't real" approach to public health was just a joke.
"Yeah, he's joking about a global pandemic! It's a snippet from his new standup special, 'Donald Trump's Deth Comedy Jam,'" said Colbert, before impersonating Trump: "'I really killed! Then I went on stage.'"
Unfortunately for the staffers continually running after him with snot rags and baby wipes, the president hasn't been sticking to their cover story. When directly asked about his comments regarding coronavirus testing, Trump said on Tuesday morning, "I don't kid. Let me just tell you, let me make it clear."
"Oh my god," said Colbert. "Your staff does everything they can to pull your news cycle out of the ditch and then you just floor it in reverse."
