The Marvel Cinematic Universe would be 1,000 times better if EVERY hero rocked facial hair
Infinity War features about two dozen leads, including most of the Avengers, all of the Guardians, and a bunch of not-quite-Avengers like Spider-Man and Doctor Strange.
But there's one clear breakout star among the bunch, and I think it's pretty clear who it is.
I am talking, of course, about Captain America's Fugitive Beard.
Beard has had our attention since last summer, when he debuted first in the D23 exclusive footage and then in the Comic-Con exclusive poster. He gained an even bigger following when the first Infinity War teaser hit a few months later, actually setting records for social media buzz.
Beard might not have a fancy superhero moniker or a three-picture storyline devoted to his daddy issues. But he's definitely got a superpower, and that is the ability to make this extremely handsome man...
... look like total crap in comparison to this even more extremely handsome man.
Without Beard, Cap looks like a nice cute boy who drinks milk, says "fudge" when he's pissed, and always waits for the light to change before crossing the street.
With Beard, Cap looks like a stone-cold badass who might break some rules if it means stopping an apocalypse. He looks like he's got your back in battle, or during a night out on the town. He looks like someone Ron Swanson, James Bond, and Ellen Ripley would all find equally impressive. He looks like he's seen some shit and lived to never tell the tale. He looks... hot.
Cap's actually a bit behind the times, here. Some of his fellow heroes have been tapping into Beard's powers for years, including Thor and Black Panther.
All of this got us thinking: Which other Marvel superheroes might benefit from a bit of Beard's magic?
The evidence (by Mashable art genius Bob Al-Greene) speaks for itself.
Iron Man
Spider-Man
Black Widow
Bruce Banner
Hulk
Doctor Strange
Bucky
Scarlet Witch
Loki
Gamora
Star-Lord
Vision
Groot
We rest our case.
Topics Marvel
